Lessons in Etiqutte From a More Genteel Era

Standard etiquette for all occasions: What to do, what to say, what to wear by Ethel Cushing Brant gives us a glimpse into the manners and behaviors that were expected to be practiced daily by anyone claiming to be civilized. It is a shame that in today's world there is such a breakdown in our culture that people feel manners have no place anymore. Rules of etiquette actually made life much easier for everyone, since all knew what was required of them in every situation. In honor of these traditons that we have left by the wayside, I'd like to quote a passage from Ms. Brant:

Invariable politeness must be practiced as well as taught in the home. "Please" and "Thank you" should be insisted upon and appreciation of all kindness should be voiced at once by some happy remark. When answering mother and father and all older people, children should be taught to say "Yes" or "No" distinctly, followed by the person's name.

Teach them that it is vulgar and common to shove, jostly, or speak at the top of their voices, and we shall not have that all too frequent feeling of disgust and annoyance toward children whom we encounter in public places.

Children stand until their elders are seated and should be taught to allow older people to enter a room first. Boys should always allow their sisters as well as other little girls to take precedence. When older people enter a room where children are seated, they should arise at once and allow the older person to select the chair he desires. They must avoid passing in front of people if possible - if this cannot be avoided, a quiet "Excuse me" should be said. At table boys seat their mother and other ladies present, and it is a courteous thing for them to seat thier sisters. An appreciative smile from mother must always be ready when little acts of politeness are performed. It is excellent training for children to remain at table until the elders are finished, but it is permmissible for them to ask mother "May I be excused?" and slip quietly away.

Children should be taught not to interrupt the conversation of their elders--they can wait for a lull and then make their request or remark  in a quiet voice. Boys should learn to raise their hats promptly when a lady speaks to them or they speak to her. Little girls must give a quick  and pleasant smile when speaking or spoken to. Consideration and kindness should be shown at all times to old people, invalids, servants, working people - in short any one who is not as fortunate as oneself."

If we could implement at least some of these things, just imagine how much nicer our lives could be. As a parent, think what peace would rule in your home! Wouldn't it be nice to go into the grocery store and see all the children behaving acordingly? Sure, we might never return to the days when a brother seated his sister, but just a touch of civility could go such a long way. Why not make it a goal? I think we will.